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Friday, July 30, 2010

Captured


"Ye are not your own." Paul sold himself to Jesus Christ. He says - I am a debtor to everyone on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus; I am free to be an absolute slave only. That is the characteristic of the life when once this point of spiritual honour is realized. Quit praying about yourself and be spent for others as the bondslave of Jesus. That is the meaning of being made broken bread and poured out wine in reality. ~Oswald Chambers


Sitting at the computer this morning, tears streaming down my face, I'm struck once again with two facts about myself: 1) I am, at the core, self-centered, selfish and all about me and 2) I am, at the core, not my own.
When I found Christ -or more aptly- He found me, I was captured. I became a prisoner of His love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. A prisoner by choice. Drawn in by His love and grace, I surrendered my rights to self to not just emulate, but actually take on Christ's nature.
But, oh how I fight against it. Day after day sometimes moment after moment I have to fight to forget about my own rights and look out for others. Even perusing other blogs, sites and facebook, it's a constant battle against envy, jealousy, judgment, harshness... My self screams out for me me me and more me and what about me. But my soul yearns for Him Him Him and please, mercifully, more Him.
Why does it continue, after all these years to be so hard? Wouldn't obedience, trust, faith and following Him come more naturally after a while? I suppose for some it does. But for this strong willed daughter, nothing about surrender is easy.
Thank God, again, that it doesn't depend on me--but on Him.
Thank God He's got a hold of me because I'd never be able to hold tight enough to Him.


Captured by tobyMac
All I wanna do

I’m Your prisoner by choice
I will rest at Your feet
And I’ll only lift my voice
When You want me to sing
It’s the beauty of Your covering that’s stealing my heart
And it’s the mystery of You that tears me apart

If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
And if I should get a peaceful sleep
I wanna wake at my Father’s feet

All I wanna do is get into You
You got me captured
By Your love
All I wanna do is stay here with You
You got me raptured
Can’t get enough

The sun’s on the rise
The sleep’s in my eyes
The dew’s on the ground
The night is disguised
There’s hope in the air
I’m fresh off a prayer
The blue mountain bean is clearin’ my stare
I make recompense
It’s all makin’ sense
Like blood in my veins
You’re my sustenance
A moment of trust
The “me” becomes “us”
The “we” become “one”
Your gift is my gust of wind
‘Til we meet again

So faith, don’t fail me now
If you touch my heart
You can feel it pound
So faith, don’t fail me now

You got me, and You won’t let go

1 comment:

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

One of the (many) things I love about you, Patty, is your humility and your honesty and your clinging-to-Jesus.

O.K. That was three things. :-)

Your soul yearning for Him... Yes, it shows. You radiate with His Spirit. I appreciate you. You've taught me much about what it is to walk in The Way.

Press on, dear sister.

All my love ...