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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Withholding

"Your kindness, Lord, leads us to repentance..." Chris Tomlin (based on Romans 2:4)

I got a letter from the IRS yesterday. It struck fear in my heart. Was it an audit? Did I forget to file something? What did I screw up? With trepidation, I opened it; it was just my 1096 forms. Whew.

I don't know why I was scared; there's nothing to hide. But I know I'm bad at tax stuff. I never know what numbers to write where and anytime I'm asked about withholding, the whole concept has to be explained to me again. Do zero exemptions mean you get more money or less? I never know. After years of doing a lot of my own stuff, I'm still hopelessly lost in the world of numbers & finance.

And after years of knowing & trusting Christ, I seem to also still be hopelessly lost in the spiritual world too. Thank God for His patience and mercy that's new every morning...because I need it every morning.

Over the last few weeks, God's kindness, patience, and mercy has lead me to a place of repentance. Through some wonderful circumstances that were orchestrated by Him, He's convicted me of a withholding problem I have. No, not taxes, but I realized I've been withholding many important things from a lot of people in my life. I've been withholding love, time, money, energy, encouragement, Truth...all because of my own fears, insecurities, and selfishness.


Thank God He intervenes and doesn't let us stay the way we are. Thank God He doesn't withhold any good thing from us! Thank God that His kindness leads us to repentance.

3 comments:

Chris Godfredsen said...

Boy, you didn't withhold being open and honest about areas in which you feel may be coming up short. I pray that as His love continues to be more and more clear, that as He continues to make deposits into you through those around you and every other way that He does, that you withhold less and less of who He is in you in the areas you mentioned. I really appreciated this message today!

janelle said...

Great "release"! I may need to read this a few times over. Thank you Patty - for being a seeker and a follower and for being who you are in my life!

Jennifer Dukes Lee said...

Thank you for your vulnerability and autheniticity. It "looks" good on you. :-) May you feel that you're holding nothing back as you celebrate Him this week -- a week of thanks. I appreciated the reminders in my own life, too. I have some areas of withholding.