I wrote this post in January of 2006 ...it's where the name for the site comes from...
We haven't seen the sun for more than a few minutes at a time since before Christmas. It's been overcast & cloudy & depressing.
But this morning I walked out to a magical, quiet, winter world. Because of a dense fog, the trees were white with frost. It was stunningly beautiful. I just stood there, trying to soak in the moment-knowing it would quickly leave as the fog lifted and the frost melted.
It got me thinking about fog.
It struck me that without the fog, the beauty I experienced would not be possible. I've often compared depression to fog. But even if you're not "depressed" in a clinical sense, we all go through times when life closes in around us and there's no direct sun-- only diffused light. And maybe, just maybe there are moments in our fog when we see a beauty that's only available during the fog and when it lifts, that particular beauty fades also.
I've also been thinking alot about flirting (and I do believe these two random thoughts relate-so stay with me).
We usually think of flirting with the opposite sex, but you can flirt with disaster and danger and just about anything else. My friend's little boy flirts with everyone he meets. He's 10 months old and charms & disarms people with his big, toothless grin--inviting smiles wherever he goes.
To invite someone or something in-I think that's flirting.
So when I walked out this morning, and saw the beauty, it felt like flirting. Something beautiful and beyond me that I could enjoy but not hold was inviting me. I felt something stir in my heart. A longing combined with a glimpse that I could not grasp.
Eternity.
Flirting with Eternity in the fog.
Can't Take It In by Imogen Heap
Can't close my eyes
They're wide awake
Ev'ry hair on my body has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me
It couldn't be any more beautiful
- I can't take it in.
Weightless in love...unraveling
For all that's to come and all that's ever been
We're back to the board with every shade under the sun
Let's make it a good one
It couldn't be any more beautiful
- I can't take it in.
