Love Divine

Two human loves make one divine.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning



Love...I saw it in their eyes, their smiles and their touches. I saw it between father & daughter as they danced. I saw it as the bride & groom and their parents shared communion together. I saw it in sisters & brothers, grandparents, cousins,and friends as they interacted. The weekend was saturated with love.

Joy...In the toasts given by the best man & maid of honor, the beaming smiles of parents, grandparents, and friends, even in the tears of one of the groomsmen, joy abounded.

Peace...Despite the stress of decorating, preparing, and running errands there was peace that passed understanding.

Patience...Witnessed between the bride & groom, the bride & her mom, the groom & his mom, and the countless others involved, a spirit of patience prevailed.

Kindness...The reassuring hugs and words spoken to calm nerves resounded with kindness.

Goodness...Evident in the pure life-styles of the bride and groom and and the joy of the witnesses, goodness permeated the celebration.

Faithfulness...Listening to vows spoken in love and trust, witnessing God praised and watching three sets of grandparents dancing to honor at least 50 years of marriage a piece, faithfulness flourished.



Watching the Rockies play...Attending a High Tea...Sharing meals...Googling endangered native wildflowers...Line Dancing at the rehearsal dinner...Decorating...Golfing...Rejoicing at the ceremony...Celebrating at the reception...hiking on Sunday...



From the time we arrived on Wednesday to our departure on Monday morning, the weekend was characterized by Beauty...Truth...Grace...and lots of laughter and fun.



David & Katie,

What a privilege to be included in your beautiful celebration! May you know God's blessing, peace, and abiding love as you begin your adventure together!

love, Aunt Patty

Conversations

Mid sentence I realized I was doing it.
Somewhere in the conversation I'd ceased really listening and started planning what I'd say back. Without being aware, I had an agenda and I was implementing it; making sure she knew what I thought, knew, and understood.
I had something to prove. I quit listening to her with an ear and heart to minister and understand her, and listened only for how I could respond in a way that would show her that a)I'm not the idiot I think she thinks I am and 2) I am a faith-filled person even if I think she doubts it.
Instead of genuinely putting her needs and concerns above my own, I pushed my own agenda of being understood. It doesn't happen very often--this need to prove myself--but once in a while it rears it's ugly head.
I'm sure to the casual observer nothing seemed amiss, but I knew what was driving my end of the conversation. I gave myself the mental equivalent of a slap and continued the conversation with a different motive and attitude. I have no idea if she noticed or not, but it made all the difference on my end.

Ephesians 4:2 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Pretty Princess

She's always been sweet. Usually smiling, kind and gentle; that's my girl.
She woke up this morning, got ready and greeted me with a big hug & smile.
Happy birthday, honey! I whispered, still blinking the sleep from my eyes.
Thanks, mom! came the cheery response.

She's been waiting for this day for months. Well, years, really.

Her celebration started a week ago. Twelve girls descended on our home ready for a party. But the planning has been in the works for a month.
I suggested she have a theme for the party. She looked at me and replied, with a characteristic smile "Disney Princesses". That sounded like fun...I'm all into dressy, girly, princess stuff. Armed with nothing but ideas ( and a little cash), we headed off to party places and dollar stores to search for princessy stuff.
A few weeks later, the cake baked, the table set, the house and food ready, and no males in sight, we prepared for the arrival of the girls.

Upon entering our home in a swarm, they donned their borrowed princess dresses, primped in front of mirrors and then the party started.



After a fun, loud, giggly photo shoot, and amidst lots of talking, laughter, and goofy teenage girl stuff, I called them into the banquet. With gifts for each girl, food in abundance and friendship all around, they celebrated with us.


Twelve 15 and 16 year old girls dressed up like princesses, sitting at a feast, enjoying one another. Reading from I Peter 2:9-10 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood..." , I prayed with them and told them how, if you were a daughter of the King you were truly a princess. It was all I could do to not to cry(sappy person that I am).
Well, the meal ended and they went on to spend hours laughing, talking, playing truth or dare, mafia, sitting around a fire, having a dance off (at 4 a.m.) and staying up ALL night! It was everything she'd hoped for and worth the missed sleep for me.

But that was a week ago. Today's the day.
She's finally sixteen.
Brad & I gave her a ring this morning. A ring to remind her of our love, to remind her of her Heavenly Father's love, to remind her of a call to holiness, and to remind her that she's truly a princess.
Happy Birthday, Beautiful girl...we love you!

Beauty in the everyday...

The last few weeks have been crazy. Not crazy busy, but crazy with the whole spectrum of life: from the tragedy of car accidents, plane crashes, tragic deaths and the effects of cancer to the blessings of newborns, healthy pregnancies and the overwhelming joy of adoption.
I've started three separate posts to try to put into words all that's been on my heart and mind but abandoned each.
How can you sum up so much life and death, joy and sorrow in a post?
My brains been working overtime to try to deal with it all; to let God be God, to truly pray "your will be done", to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.
In the midst of it, I keep going back to the beauty I see everywhere around me.
Beauty in the joys of adoption & new parenting....beauty in friends rising to the occasion and putting their own needs on hold so they can minister to someone else...beauty in measures of healing...beauty in accepting God's will...beauty in community...beauty in God's faithfulness...beauty in God's abundant mercy...beauty in His amazing grace...beauty in His sustaining presence (whether felt or not)...beauty in His strong arm being mighty to save...beauty in His love...beauty in YHWH.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple" Psalm 27:4

Doubt

Realizing I needed a Savior at the tender age of 7, I began my now lifelong journey of faith. 35 years later, my faith doesn't look like I ever thought it would or could. Other people's faith's don't look like I thought. Our personal faith's come in all different sizes, shapes & colors. Some people get to live in (as a friend called it) the pretty little thatched roof bungalow of faith...like a Thomas Kincaid painting...inviting, full of light, and cozy. Deep doubts over the Truth are almost non-existant. Their faith is still very real and deep and beautiful, but it's not hard for them to believe. Other people's faith is like an endless desert or wilderness...stark but still full of life; also full of depth and beauty yet often a struggle for survival. Other people live somewhere in between. I've spent a lot of my life thinking that eventually everyone who professed Christ should end up in the bungalow. I don't believe that anymore.

I don't know about you, but I often doubt my faith. I doubt the validity of the claims of Christ, I doubt that the Bible is really the Word of God. I doubt there's a God. I doubt just about everything related to this "faith" we call Christianity. Why do I doubt? Partly because it's who I am to question. Partly because I confuse religion for faith. And partly because the claims of Christianity seem ludicris...I mean One God becoming man to save us?? A being beyond us, controlling the universe? C'mon.
But amid all the doubts, I still believe. Why do I still believe? Is it habit? Superstition? Fear? Lack of reflection? Lack of reason? Laziness? Because Christianity "works"? Because I see evidence of God in nature, humanity, the universe, even myself?
The simple, truthful answer is, I don't have a choice but to believe.
There have been times in my life when I wanted to stop believing; wanted to embrace secular humanism, existentialism or rationalism.
Those times have indeed led me to searching the Bible and asking other's what and why they believe.
But ultimately, it's not reading the Bible more, or praying more, or seeing God in people around me, or remembering His faithfulness that keeps me believing.
It's this abstract, absolutely uncontainable, indescribable, very real Thing that goes beyond my reason and beyond my feeling and beyond the definable that keeps holding on to me.
So even when I try to let go, I can't. It's got me. I cannot not believe.
Even with my doubts and inability to live in the tidy little bungalow, I still believe.
I know that by merely expressing my thoughts, doubts and questions, many of you may doubt me and be very uncomfortable with this entry. But my hope is, that others who aren't sure will continue searching and may be taken captive by this utterly unbelievable God.


Creed by Rich Mullins track #13 on player
I believe in God the Father almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried
And I believe what I believe
It's what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not
The invention of any man
I believe that He who suffered
Was crucified, buried, and dead
He descended into hell and
On the third day, rose again
He ascended into Heaven where
He sits at God's mighty right hand
I believe that He's returning to
Judge the quick and the dead
Of the sons of men
I believe it, I believe it I believe it I believe it, I believe it
I believe in God the Father almighty
Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son,
Our Lord I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church, the communion of Saints
The forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends
And I believe what I believe
It's what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not
The invention of any man

Fragile Growth

"And they will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." ~Isaiah the Prophet, Isaiah 61:3b

Okay, so it's not an oak, it's a maple. Brad noticed it growing up between the garage and the compost box (in a 3 inch wide space) a few years ago. Standing true and straight, protected (and probably fed) by the compost box, the tree grew to about 6 feet tall before Brad transplanted it. As he dug it up last fall, he saw that the base and the roots were twisted because of the garage's foundation. He gently carved away at the base, trying not to damage the roots. After planting it, we waited all winter wondering if the fragile tree would make it. This spring...still standing tall...still very fragile...the maple has leaves! The volunteer sapling with the damaged root system survived.

"Zee grrrapes, zay haf to sufair to prodoos zee finest vine in zee vurld." ~some, hard to understand French woman on a PBS travel show
The host of the travel show was in Burgundy, France talking with a wine maker. She, the vintner, was showing him the centuries old vineyards and explaining why Burgundy wine is so wonderful and rare. The soil is awful and the environmental conditions less than ideal for most plants. She went on to say that the grapes have to suffer...that when the vines have to work to grow in the harsh environment they pick up unique, special flavors not found anywhere else in the world. The suffering grapes produce one of kind wine.

"With a very dry and strong southerly wind blowing, we could use some moisture..."
~Dave Winslow, Weather guy on KTIV

Living on the Great Plains, we're used to, shall we say, strong air currents. But even by Iowa's standards, we've experienced brutal, sustained winds the last 2 1/2 days and nights. I spent all day Saturday planting flowers and tomatoes and dividing perennials...would the fragile plants survive the onslaught...I wondered. I tried to keep them watered; I moved the ones I could to more protected areas, but some just had to endure the harsh, dry winds. I was sure my tomato plants would snap. Sleeping with the windows open, I woke up about 3 a.m. to quiet; the winds finally died down. First thing this morning, I stepped out to check on my plants. I think they've made it. The tomatoes didn't snap and the others were already straighting back up. The wind swept little plants endured.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~Jesus, John 16:33

I don't know what your story is, but we've all experienced tight spots that damage our root system, less than ideal growing conditions, and dry hot winds that threaten to snap us off at the base. We all have times in our lives of fragility. Times when standing tall seems impossible, fruit non-existent and growth unattainable.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us...." ~Paul, Romans 5:2b-5a

I know sometimes it feels like no amount of character building seems worth the pain. But whatever your struggle today, I do believe (for myself and for you) that He is shaping you into an oak...cultivating one of a kind grapes in your heart...and giving you a strong foundation to endure the winds to come...not so you'll be happy or so you won't have to suffer anymore, but for His glory and renown.

Words aptly written...

"Sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me."
Whoever came up with this little childhood gem should be racked. It's one of the biggest lies that I've heard.
Words do hurt. They can do unrepairable damage.
I remember stinging words from every stage in my life. Like whispers in the quiet night, hurtful, pain filled words come back and echo in my ears when I'm doubting myself, or doubting God.
Why do words hurt so much? And why are they so easily recalled? I feel like some of the painful words spoken to me left an indelible print on who I am as a person. Having a kid make fun of my teeth or my ears, left me always self conscious of those traits. Having boys in junior high rate me compared to other girls left scars on my heart that just don't go away. As an adult, I know they were speaking out of their own insecurities and their own pain and that there was little truth in what they said. But even as adults, we suffer the pain of cutting remarks...words that degrade us or bring into question our worth. The legacy left by those hurtful words is a vast, deep one.
Thankfully, I've also been on the receiving end of beautiful, encouraging, Truth filled words. Growing up, my mom rarely spoke harshly, raised her voice or made any negative comments to us. She just didn't. Both my parents, in general, live Proverbs 25:11 "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." They walk through life handing out golden apples left and right.
So, Jennifer, at GDWJ (http://gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com/) recently posted several blogs giving her own reasons for blogging. Of course, that got me thinking about why I blog.
Is it simply exhibitionist tendencies? Is it the desire to be known...really known on a heart level? Is it because I love to write? I didn't come up with any one answer, but I guess I blog because I know the impact words have had on my own life. I know that words can do more damage than sticks and stones...but words can also bring healing, encouragement, insight, wisdom, peace, grace, joy...words can leave a vast, deep, legacy of love.
That's partly what I hope my blog does. I know I'm honest to a fault at times and it probably either freaks some people out or gives them the impression that I'm always one step away from some sort of "Peaceful Pines" institution. But, I blog, and try to be honest doing it, because I'm compelled to share (hopefully) life giving words.